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Conflict Resolution Skills Cafe

I wanted to learn the 12 Skills of Conflict Resolution and discuss with friendly and interested others. Please get in contact if maybe you want to meetup to discuss and learn together in an informal and safe setting over a tea or coffee. Map mind.

The 12 Skills from the website of the Conflict Resolution Network.

  1. The win/win approachHow can we solve this as partners rather than opponents?
  2. Creative responseTransform problems into creative opportunities.
  3. EmpathyDevelop communication tools to build rapport. Use listening to clarify understanding.
  4. Appropriate assertivenessApply strategies to attack the problem not the person.
  5. Co-operative powerEliminate “power over” to build “power with” others.
  6. Managing emotionsExpress fear, anger, hurt and frustration wisely to effect change.
  7. Willingness to ResolveName personal issues that cloud the picture.
  8. Mapping the conflictDefine the issues needed to chart common needs and concerns.
  9. Development of optionsDesign creative solutions together.
  10. Introduction to negotiationPlan and apply effective strategies to reach agreement.
  11. Introduction to mediationHelp conflicting parties to move towards solutions.
  12. Broadening perspectivesThree articles on running meetings in conflict resolving mode.This is at the planning stage and we might start it next month.

call on 07707676308

19 Responses

  1. What a great idea. A conflict resolution skills cafe…..I’d be interested to know if you had any takers? I work in conflict resolution as a trainer/consultant and am also a Director of a Mediation service in West London. Love the idea of a cafe where you can come and chat about this as a topic…….. how did it go?

    All the best with it


  2. Hi there Alan

    I had some people coming back to me on that so we are going to have the first cafe next month. I’m not experienced in formal conflict resolution but when I stumbled over the resources on the website and wanted to learn I thought why not learn with others:) all an experiment

    I hope after my initial input there will be enough interested people who will learn about it maybe they can take it forward in their localities or community groups.

    You’ve got great experience so If you want to pop over to the cafe or for transition drinks maybe we could discuss possible collaboration? Cheers

  3. I’m certainly keen to set up an event like this as well. I’ve no formal training in this area but have had some experience through some facilitation work I’ve done in the past, so happy to contribute my experience plus learn together with others and hone my skills…

  4. Excellent site, and valuable in practical ways. In this context I liked The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz –
    Be impeccable With Your Word,
    Don’t Take Anything Personally,
    Never Assume Anything,
    Always Do Your Best

    • thanks Glyn, we are trying our best.

      I think it’s worth keeping Miguel’s words at heart – this would save us loads of conflict:)

      Does anyone have other quotes or ideas on conflict?

  5. Hi there
    How’s it all going? Not being a ‘local’ I’ve not fully kept up with things in Westcliff but got your messages from this board. I have quite a few quotes on conflict and communication skills, both on my website and twitter page but here’s one I found recently that I love:

    ‘Conflict is the beginning of consciousness’ by M. Esther Harding.

    I love it as it basically acknowledges that conflict is inevitable and begins the process of learning and changing and that process can be painful or productive and creative and often both, but without it we remain ‘unconscious’. Welcoming conflict as an opportunity while recognising the challenges within that is the basis of what I work with in mediation.

    Wishing you all, all the very best with your endeavours and very much hope to make it to the conflict cafe one day. What a great idea!!

    Alan 🙂

    • we are redesigning our group to become Southend-on-Sea in Transition at this stage so didn’t get to doing the Cafe. Nevertheless people keep on asking about it so interest is there and should get to doing it some time soon.

      As for the quote it does ring true. I found that situations in which conflict arises can be very fruitful. So it is maybe not about avoiding it but working with it?

  6. Absolutely!! Ultimately you can’t avoid it, even if you think you have the very act of avoiding it means it is still affecting you. And even if the person/situation it is with is ‘avoidable’ the problem will reappear with another person/ situation as we haven’t learned how to respond to it in a way that resolves it. Interesting that the cafe has proven to be of interest to people.
    I’m sure you are very busy with it all but if it does go ahead in some way please let me know and I’ll try to get up there.

    Have a great weekend.


    • Interesting to me too that the cafe got so much interest. Is conflict a hot point? Generating loads of energy but people are suppressing it -however it will still surface.

      Will keep you informed.

      ps. maybe I’m avoiding starting this Cafe up because it is about conflict and I’m avoiding anything which has to do with it:)

      • I am at the point of becoming a member of a housing co-operative and would be very interested to participate in the conflict resolution project as it is always useful to keep adding to one’s ‘toolbox’. Please add me to your contact list for this.

        All the best – Ros Mortis

      • Hello Ros, if you are getting the occasional newsletter you’ll get the info on the conflict resolution project too through the email box. Cheers

  7. :-))) well very interesting that you were willing to turn it round and look at yourself for the reasons….. it may be….or it may not. Yep, I think simply considering how to find more constructive ways of responding to conflict is something a lot of people are interested in at the moment……you may need extra coffee!!!

  8. […] ‘Futu… on Transition Southend Timel…transitionprogress on Conflict Resolution Skills…Alan Sharland on Conflict Resolution […]

  9. How you are positioned is also critical when dealing with conflict. How far away are you ? What angle are you positioned ?Are you stood up ?Are you sat down.
    Sorry for the plug we discuss this in more detail on my blog on the P.O.L.I.T.E model. ( P stands for Position ).

  10. […] Some of the pictures are already on the map. Conflict Resolution Skills Cafe I wanted to learn the 12 Skills of Conflict Resolution and discuss with friendly and interested others. Please get in contact if maybe you want to meetup […]

  11. Dear People,

    I got an enquiry from Ros Mortis but she gave an incorrect email address. Do let me know the right one if you have it. She gave this: rosmortis@blueyonder.co.uk but it did not work. TIA.

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